The Counterintuitive Way to Get your Best Self to Show Up

I have the good fortune to spend a week each year with a group of amazingly talented healers on a bodywork retreat. We all have been coming together for years, and so we know how to show up for each other and ourselves to create a group atmosphere that accelerates the best possible healing straightaway, without needing a warming up period. By the end of the morning session on Day 1, we are already well into unraveling whatever we showed up with that is stuck, causing resistance, or ripe for release.

Personal Development

This is the definition of a dynamic group.

But in my experience, this is also really rare in life – that a group is primed and ready to Be All-in so quickly, so complimentary. We’ve all experienced different group dynamics on all kinds of yoga, meditation, and bodywork retreats, I’ve learned it is exceptionally rare that a group naturally knows how to hold the space for each other right away so they don’t waste any time dropping into the group dynamic and momentum. You know the moment: You’ve arrived at a retreat and throw down your bags. Everyone shows up a little nervous, a little unsure of themselves and what will come, maybe even with strong resistance, even in the most beautiful & relaxing backdrops. Finally, by the third or fourth day people finally start to have breakthroughs, trust the experience and drop in to generate a group dynamic that lifts each individual by the force of the group’s momentum.

And wow– when it finally clicks into place, it’s pure magic! It accelerates each and every individual forward. You absorb so much more than you could have on your own.

One of the ways that I’ve found to sculpt a similar effect amongst my members to get that magic click effect – and from the first moments- is to articulate the core values to new participants entering each season, in particular, my dynamic group’s value of Be All-In.

Be All-In to me means consistently calling forward your Best Self, the you who can step into the next level of your evolution without hesitation or resistance.

A Be All-In is already a fast-moving current. The continuing members get it. They’ve embraced it and learned to leverage it to accelerate their own growth. So once a new member position takes that active decision to position herself into a fast-moving current with others on a similar mission to upgrade their lifestyle, all of this gets accelerated, and easier! You get rid of all the nagging unfinished “shoulds” of the day, and turn the key to reclaiming your life back from stress, overwhelm and dissatisfaction.

Upgrading your lifestyle becomes light & fun, and you do it much faster than slogging it out on your own, through the thick mud of resistances, self-sabotage and sliding backwards. This is the definition of a dynamic group experience, the reward for Being All-In.

Dynamic groups gain traction so fast because every member has accepted a mutual accountability, and are ready to leverage it. They’ve each individually said ‘yes’ to putting real investment on the line: their time, their energy, their money, their heart. What else is going to change what you decided to change when life throws obstacles into the path? Certainly not our short-attention span and high motivation that only shows up when a blue moon rises in exalted Taurus. Change is hard, and the universe is going to challenge your initial enthusiasm. (Think: New Year’s Resolutions) Of course, when you make a decision to change the course of how you’re living, your Best Self has shown up. The clouds part and your vision, motivation, energy, enthusiasm shine through, and you can change anything you want. In the moment of high motivation, your Best Self thinks: “What could possibly break my resolve?”

Of course, no one who has decided to change their lives for the better has ever experienced any obstacles a few days after ; )

Adapting the “Be All-In” attitude and taking it all the way to action is key. Our ability to position ourselves in a container & community that helps us organize every aspect of our lives around what your Best Self decided – and keep at it over time – is the simple fact that makes or breaks our progress.

Action is key. Consistency is key. Positioning ourselves in a container which guarantees our physical change and self-growth is a non-negotiable.

How will you do this for the next phase of your evolution so you can spend more time with your Best Self choosing your actions? How can you weave yourself into a fabric to Be All-In?

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